Sunday, 22 July 2018
100 WC T3 W1 Harry
Suddenly Jim's eyes flickered open, he sat up abruptly from his comfortable silk bed. He did not know what had awoken him from his peaceful slumber he just... sensed something was not right. He heaved himself out of bed as the cold enveloped him. He wrenched back the silver drapes only to see of course darkness as it was 1:25 am. Jim opened his door quietly and heard gruff voices coming from the living room, he swiftly walked over to the stairs.. Like a a joke he muttered "so as i looked over the edge i saw ... Snap! Suddenly. He Awoke.
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I like the way you described everything it made a better picture in my head.
ReplyDeleteYou need to turn your i's into capital I's, and you need to turn the A in awoke into a lower capital.
I like the way you used descriptive words.
ReplyDeleteJust make sure you reread your story before you publish it.
Nice use of descriptive language it definitely made your story more exciting and it makes it easier to get the picture in my head.
ReplyDeleteNext time make sure you check your spelling and grammar.
Nice work