Sunday, 22 July 2018
Charlotte T3 W1
All you need to know is that my name is Sadie and I am looking for the rare species of birds named Daffodil drones. These rare birds have never been spotted and I hope to be the first person that does. My studies of daffodil drones say that these birds like to hide in the sides of cliffs so that's where I'm going, The trek took an hour but once I arrived there was an amazing view. I knelt down by the edge of the cliff and so, as I looked over the edge, I saw a daffodil drone!
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I really enjoyed this story, Its very creative. You used some very good describing words and you really painted a picture for me. Perhaps, maybe, you could have a look at the Grammar.And also that Daffodil in the second line doesn't have a Capital. Other than that, I loved it! :))
ReplyDeleteI thought this story was GREAT, you had a good story line. I would just add more description about the bird.
ReplyDeleteThe story was nice but could you tell us about the bird
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