Monday, 30 July 2018

Jackson, 100 Words W1 T3

Walking, walking, walking that's all that's been happening for the past half hour. I’d lost my parents hours earlier. I had veered far off track. I had to find shelter and water and quickly it was noon. Great light. But. It Was Hot. Very Hot. Extremely Hot. I was thirsty, I would do anything for a glass of water soon. I had been walking along the side of a cliff. Not daring to look over. I decided after a while I should peer down, so as I peered over the ledge a bird swooped up. Close. Water. Clean Water. Amazing.
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2 comments:

  1. Anonymous30 July 2018 at 22:38

    Good use of descriptive words.
    But maybe when it says Great light. But. It Was Hot. Very Hot. Extremely Hot. I was thirsty
    and Close. Water. Clean Water. Amazing maybe you should have commas instead of full stops

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous31 July 2018 at 22:29

    I like the way you used descriptive words.
    Perhaps use less full stops and use commas and the end doesn't quit make sense.

    ReplyDelete

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