Sunday, 22 July 2018
Maia T3 W1
Tripping over twigs scattered on the ground, I scrambled to my feet, Running as hard as I could. All I could smell smoke, A bitter reminder of what I had lost. Still flat out sprinting I could hear my heart pounding and dizziness threatened to overwhelm me. Suddenly I felt my knees buckle under me, the cliff was right beneath me! So, as I looked over the edge, I saw raging fire. All hope of living any longer left me. As my head started spinning and the heat became to much to cope with, My world slowly faded to black.
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I really liked the way you you described the twigs scattered along the ground.
ReplyDeleteTo improve your writing try and think about what tense you are writing in because in some parts it changed between past and present. 😃😜👍
I really liked how you described your knees buckled under you. maybe you could add in about what you hear the surrounding.
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