Monday, 30 July 2018

T3 W2 100 Word Challenge

Drips of water rolled down my plump cheeks. It had been raining all morning for the first time in a month my friends and I were making the most of it. As we splashed around in the water a cloud of fog surrounded us. All of a sudden something didn't feel right. We started going home but the fog had made us disorientated. We were LOST! Instantly I heard something whispering to itself. I swiftly spun around and I saw there lying on the ground were all my friends. Suddenly I feel an aching pain in my back then...

2 comments:

  1. Great piece of writing it was gripping and tense. It sounded awesome. Maybe next time make it a bit more informative about whats happening.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like to way you used descriptive words it made it gripping and intense.
    When it says "and I were making the most of it" It doesn't quit make sense.

    ReplyDelete

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .