Tuesday, 1 May 2018
Eliana T2 W1
Frantically I race over to see where my mother was, I had heard something horrible happened. I yell out "mum", it takes a while but then I hear a misty noise that sounds like someone shouted "yes Jess", so I decide to yell back and say "where are you?" There was no reply... I sprint down the stairs and when I get to the tiles instead of them being white they were a weird crimson colour. A thought rushed through my head, I ran outside to find my mother. I find her sitting next to someone's grave. She was crying.
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I really liked the suspense because it made me read more. next time you write think of putting a better ending other than she was crying.
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