Monday, 7 May 2018
Harriet T2W2
’when did it arrive?’ I said. It was on My doorstep, a large cardboard box. It said my name, I didn't know what to do with it so I just called mum to come to the front door. When mum got there she said to pick it up and take it to the living room. I said to her "I didn't order anything though". Them mum said "I know, I ordered it for you". I Got some scissors to open it . Inside was a was a painting of a horse running free. I said to mum "I love it, thank you
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Harriet
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I really liked the way you varid the size of your sentences and used speech marks in the right places. One work on would be not to use capital letters in sentences.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the way you used speech marks in the right places.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you could change Got to a lower case.