Tuesday, 1 May 2018
Sang Woo L 100wc T2 W1
It was a misty mountain. This mountain is called 'The cries of dead' because you can hear that someone is crying and no one didn't come back after they climbed this mountain. I was climbing this mountain and suddenly, I saw a hole on the side of the mountain. Inside of the hole, there was a massive cave. Then I couldn't believe my eyes. There was a grave with crimson liquid everywhere! I shouted and ran away from graveand bloods frantically. When I finally got out of the cave, I packed my stuff as fast as I could.
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Sang Woo L
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I really liked all the descriptive language but the second to last sentence does not make sense.
ReplyDeleteNext time Could you make you sentences make sense because when I red "from graveand bloods frantically" what dose that mean?
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