One day as I was walking back from school a white van drove up to me. From inside the van a gruff voice said
“Hey kid hop into my van”
“Why would I do that?” I replied
“I’ll give you candy” he offered enticingly
With the offer of candy in mind, I began to cautiously walk towards the van. Just as I put my foot into the
van my mum ran by
van my mum ran by
“Don’t get in the van that man is a criminal” I quickly ran away.
The next day when I was watching the news there was a report about a boy given a lifetime supply of candy....
I enjoyed this story. I wish I got that candy. Maybe, you could go through the punctuation in the odd place (mainly the first and second lines) and some capitals at the beginning of a couple of sentences.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this story, it was well written. Maybe you could double check you punctuation used. Overall it was it was a great story though.
ReplyDelete